Monday, July 28, 2008

Columbus Symphony Akin to Indianapolis


Note Tony Beadle's comparison of the Columbus Symphony to the Indianapolis Symphony, an orchestra with a very healthy budget and very fair compensation for it's musicians. Let's continue this kind of thinking. You are on track. Let's hope any future negotiations reflect this reasonable standard toward cultivating the Symphony Columbus deserves.

Contract clash puts fate of Ohio symphony in doubt

7/26/2008, 1:12 p.m. ET
By JULIE CARR SMYTH
The Associated Press

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Sentiment these days surrounding the 57-year-old Columbus Symphony Orchestra is not so much Beethoven's "Pastoral" as the "1812 Overture."

The orchestra's board of trustees suspended operations on June 1 and canceled the popular summer pops series and at least 10 fall classical concert performances, citing a projected $3 million budget shortfall. Managers and musicians have clashed over the next union contract and what direction to take the organization in the future.

If there is a future.

"It's sort of like we've been at the brink," said executive director Tony Beadle. "And now we have to go together hand in hand and illuminate what an orchestra does and what it means to a community at large."

Fellow musicians have weighed in with their view.

"One of the great American cultural accomplishments of the 20th century was to bring access to top-quality performing arts to cities across the country," the musicians of the Cincinnati Symphony and world-renowned Cleveland Orchestra wrote in a letter of support for Columbus players. "The loss of the Columbus Symphony Orchestra would represent a setback for the 21st century."

A recent study by the Columbus Cultural Leadership Consortium found that arts and culture in greater Columbus is a powerful economic engine, generating $22 for every dollar spent in central Ohio compared with the $7 national average.

The analysis estimated that $330 million is spent each year in the region by nonprofit arts and cultural organizations and their audiences, with the Columbus Symphony being in the top tier of the city's cultural food chain.

"Many people look to the arts as an indicator of the quality of life in this community. This does not help that mission," Beadle said.

"But, over and above that, is that the Columbus Symphony as a musical ensemble is fantastic. It's just one of those lucky circumstances that all the right components were put together on stage to produce fantastic music."

Musicians credit better salaries with attracting the quality players that have built the orchestra's critical acclaim over the years. The lowest paid Columbus Symphony musician makes $55,200 a year, compared with $75,400 for the Indianapolis Symphony, $91,900 for the Cincinnati Symphony, $101,452 for the Pittsburgh Symphony and $110,760 for Cleveland, according to data from the American Federation of Musicians.

"I think it's taken decades to build the Columbus Symphony into the high-quality organization it is," said Douglas Fisher, president of the Central Ohio Federation of Musicians, which represents 53 symphony musicians. "Forcing us to accept the Draconian cuts proposed by the board basically would destroy everything we've built."

Board president Robert Trafford has said reaching a new agreement with the musicians' union is the only way to rescue the symphony.

The board's initial proposal sought to reduce the symphony's annual expense budget from $12 million to $9.5 million, or 12.5 percent, and the number of full-time orchestra musicians from 53 to 31. Paid weeks per year would fall from 46 to 34, cutting the playing season by a quarter.

"The orchestra has had a history of a structural deficit, which means, all other things being equal and without outside gifts, you're outspending what you're taking in," said Beadle, who spent seven years managing the Boston Pops.

Beadle said Columbus musicians need to look to peer orchestras — such as Indianapolis — when determining whether their salaries are fair, not to the likes of the Cleveland Orchestra, one of the "Big Five" orchestras in America.

"I maintain everybody here would like to pay them as much as we possibly can, because we honor the profession and honor what they do, but start benchmarking yourself to your collegial orchestras," he said.

Fisher said the orchestra's structural deficit cannot be blamed on how much musicians are paid. After musicians agreed to an 11 percent pay cut in 2005, the Columbus Symphony's budget for artistic expenses has remained on or under budget every year, according to a financial analysis commissioned by the union. Last year, ticket sales were up 24 percent.

"We agreed to $1.3 million in cuts in exchange for the promise of a new director, a new executive director and other changes," he said. "They didn't do the things they promised. It's really a problem of governance, and that will continue until the right people are given the keys to the organization."

Last year, the symphony joined with other area arts organizations — including Columbus' ballet, opera, art museums and adult and children's theater companies — in a joint fundraising effort aimed largely at making the best use of big donors' dollars in a shared funding arrangement.

But the effort may have come too late for the symphony. Without a contract by Aug. 31, the 2008-2009 season will be canceled and, Fisher fears, reviving the orchestra could be impossible.

In hopes of retaining community interest and keeping musicians from relocating for other jobs, symphony musicians have put together self-funded summer concerts under the name Musicians of the Columbus Symphony.

Beadle is optimistic a compromise will be struck.

"We need to find it within ourselves to find the commonality of wanting to have a symphony orchestra, provide a lively community for musicians and serve the city of Columbus," he said.

Raisin Brahms

Got this at Adaptistration. A fun way to allay fears of the "aristocracy" of the classical arts.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Go Symphony in Columbus!

Joseph Louis Nastasi is the owner of Apogee Development (apogeedevelop.com), a software development company. A lover of all types of music, especially classical and progressive rock, Mr. Nastasi is also an amateur composer and keyboardist, and an avid ice hockey fan.
I moved here from NJ over a year ago. Other than career issues, my requirements for a new home to live were a strong classical music scene and a hockey team. NJ gets mocked a lot and exists within the shadows of two major cities, but still we have a very, very strong state orchestra that sells out crowds and has received critical acclaim. In my hometown of Wayne, we had our own chamber orchestra that sold out four concerts per year and had soloists from the NY Philharmonic play with them regularly.
Imagine my shock when I read of the failings of the CSO's finances and the board's cowardly decision. I have had the opportunity to see the orchestra a few times and also the Marble Cliff Players several times and I was very happy with the quality of what I heard.
I'm too new here to comment on the idiotic politics that seem hell bent on the destruction of such a wonderful institution. (oops, I guess I just did, didn't I?) I chose Columbus as my home because I believe it is one of the coolest, smartest cities in the country. I will be damned if I am going to give up on either the new entitled "Symphony Columbus" or my other great love, the Blue Jackets.
The way to beat city hall (in this case, the board) is to do just what you're doing: skate around them like they don't even exist. It will not be easy. It will test the people of Columbus: will they have the desire to have a strong classical music community? So far, two sold-out, self-produced concerts are a strong statement to the affirmative.

I love underdogs. And I have the patience to see them succeed. When I hear people complain about the Jacket's not getting into the playoffs after seven years, I have to laugh. The NJ Devils took thirteen! Now they own three Stanley Cup spots, within a decade. (I know I have to be losing some of you with this hockey analogy. For me, ice hockey has rhythm and poise, too. Sort of a violent ballet...) Well, it would seem that the musicians of the former CSO are underdogs, too. Fighting, not only for the orchestral music heritage of this city, but for their own family's existence! I know they will make this work. We will make it work.

I will cast my vote by going to as may concerts as possible. I was at the Dublin concert (I love Copland, thanks for Hoedown!) and already have my ticket to the Vets performance on the 26th.

I'm betting this seemingly dark period is actually the beginning of a Halcyon era. That transformation will be remembered as one of Columbus' greatest moments.

Go get 'em, Symphony Columbus!

BTW, that is a real cool name, keep it!

Best of luck,
Joseph Louis Nastasi

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Visionary Plans for City Center for Arts

(From an email sent to me on Columbus Underground)

I don't know if you (or anyone at CSO for that matter) saw last November's Columbus Monthly article, "Big Ideas for City Center." Our architecture firm was asked to develop a conceptual proposal for the redevelopment of the City Center site, and we saw it then as a way to make commentary on the state of the arts in the city.

Here was our premise: If Nationwide's Arena District is becoming the city's "category killer" venue for sports entertainment, why not re-imagine City Center as a category killer for the arts?

Essentially we said that the most valuable part of the existing structure was the parking, and that the proximity of the site to major downtown theaters could make the site viable for hotel space (desparately needed) and reclaimed park space and re-connection to the urban grid by reopening Town Street.

The centerpiece as we saw it (and our cultural "shot in the arm" for Columbus) was a new, acoustically superior and state-of-the-art Symphony Hall, with indoor/outdoor staging. The new park space would act as an amphitheater for a relocated Picnic with the Pops. We also proposed (in a very tongue in cheek way) reserving a sixth of the overall developed space for an urban Target Store, whose logo would make the nation's largest Ferris Wheel and offset the cost of developing the new Symphony Hall.

I won't bore you with the rest, but you can see the proposal as it appeared in Columbus Monthly by going here:

http://www.onlinefilefolder.co...d8fe0593ed

The last I heard any murmurings about the City Center site, Nationwide Realy was looking at planning strategies. I just thought I should email you this to say there are many in Columbus who have not given up hope for CSO, we support you, and if there is anything you feel that we can do to help, please feel free to email or call.

Best,
Bart Overly
Blostein/Overly Architects
+1 614 507-0291
www.blostein-overly.com

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Letter to Mayor Coleman

Mayor Michael Coleman
City Hall
90 West Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio 43062

Dear Mayor Coleman:

I sincerely hope you are getting more and more letters such as this one about the plight of the Columbus Symphony Orchestra. I am dismayed at the prospect of this city losing such an esteemed organization, and I am even more appalled that government officials have merely voiced mild concern over this issue. I do not think that the musicians, Board of Directors, or anyone else expects you or another government official to directly mediate this situation, but the fact that more has not been done to help alleviate this crisis could put this city on the edge of decline.

In the, Dispatch, other newspapers, and on local television news, I have heard a great deal about your desire to improve and revitalize the downtown area. I think this is a wonderful and admirable idea, but I think that your idea of streetcars connecting suburbs and the OSU campus to downtown does not help with the revitalization at all. The key to bringing downtown Columbus back to life is actually giving people a reason to go downtown. The only time I have ventured downtown since I have lived here (about a year, so far) has been for the symphony’s concerts. When I have gone on a Sunday for a matinee, NOTHING was open. Any businesses that have survived can only afford to be open during the week. There are very few shops, the theaters have occasional shows, and restaurants are barely open. How does spending millions of dollars on a streetcar system make it anymore appealing to go downtown?

This city must work to save its symphony. It is a first and crucial step to keeping the arts scene in Columbus vibrant, and it will give people more of a reason to come downtown on a weekend or evening. I am speaking as a concerned citizen of this city, but I also happen to be the wife of a symphony musician. Since I have been able to hear most of the details of this whole debacle, I know that the musicians are not just grumbling about the money. Yes, we all have families to support and money is important in that, but these musicians have a passion about what they do. They want to give back to the community, become more involved, and use their talents to make Columbus a better city.

The fact of the matter is the Board has placed almost all the burden of relieving the symphony of its debt on the musicians’ salaries and benefits. What about the 17 administrative employees I counted, those listed in a concert program, which the Symphony pays? What about the Executive Director who does not even have legal residence in Columbus? I know the Dispatch has shed some light on the fact that the Music Director Junichi Hirokami also does not reside in Columbus, but in this day and age a conductor must live and travel internationally to have any real acclaim and experience in the music world. Columbus should count itself lucky to have such a passionate and talented man leading their Symphony and supporting these musicians. I can't imagine that Board officially forbids supporting the musicians as part of Hirokami’s contract. I do not understand why that should have been made such an inflammatory issue. Hirokami has made himself available whenever he has traveled to the US to help fundraise. It is known that he even has attempted to raise funds from Japanese companies in America (Hirokami is somewhat of a celebrity in his native Japan). Those companies did not want to give their money to the current Board and management because of issues with previous donations and certain members of the current administration.

What this Symphony needs is fresh leadership from people who want this organization to prosper. In better hands, the current debt could be eliminated, a much-needed endowment could be started to insure the future of the Columbus Symphony, and perhaps a new performing arts center could be built in the coming years to house the Symphony as well as other Columbus arts organizations who would benefit from better acoustics, cheaper rent, and state-of-the-art technology.

By taking steps to help this Symphony, Columbus could be one step closer to becoming the jewel of Ohio and the Midwest. I challenge you and your constituents to become more involved in helping save one of the main attractions in downtown Columbus. Every voice counts. If the Symphony does not survive, you will be losing a great many intelligent, talented individuals to other cities, businesses will not be attracted to a town that cannot support an arts community, and Columbus will not be able to continue to grow and prosper.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Columbus Citizen

Letter from Jan Ryan

Mayor Michael Coleman
City Hall
90 West Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio 43062

Dear Mayor Coleman:

A contribution of $100,000 is listed in Bravo attributed to the Greater Columbus Arts Council.

The income for this amount was derived from taxes on hotels and motels in this city.
While you have expressed not interfering in the negotiation process of the Board and musicians, I find it intolerable that you have not made a public statement about the Board’s latest faux pas requesting the musicians support to have Junichi Hirokami resign.

Some of the money donated by GCAC surely helped pay this man’s salary, plus he is under contract for another year.

The city is receiving some very negative coverage in national newspapers around the country.

You keep harping about the revitalization of downtown Columbus. Certainly having the symphony is a vital source of attracting people downtown.

At the rate we are going by the time the bicentennial of 2012 arrives, we will be known as the city of losses—Lazarus, City Center, Skybus, and now the Columbus Symphony Orchestra.

Yours truly,
Jan Ryan�

Monday, July 21, 2008

Letter from Dave Gefler

I write this in response to the article “ Musicians Reject Offer, Dismissal of Hirokami” in the Dispatch Tuesday, July 15, 2008. While it is true that Music Director, Junichi Hirokami, did not move his family to Columbus when he was hired by the board of the Columbus Symphony, it was known to all concerned that he would not be moving his family here. The board hired him anyway after several years of a search process for a new conductor (that took far too long).

I find it interesting that the executive director of the Columbus Symphony, Tony Beadle, who was quoted in the article saying “Hirokami has failed to perform key duties of a music director for a major orchestra, partly because he hasn’t put down roots in central Ohio” has permanent residence in Boston, Massachusetts, with his family. He also has not “put down roots” in central Ohio.

My suggestion for acquiring the $300,000 dollars the board needs would be to eliminate Mr. Beadle’s position which would cover $175,000 of it, and $125,000 which could be saved by elimination of the Artistic Operation’s general manager position. While the musicians are locked out, not being paid, and now have no health insurance, these two positions are bleeding the balance of the symphony funds. Also, the musicians and conductor have been doing their jobs through performances that have been top notch; the two people in these positions have failed miserably in their role of financial management and promotional guidance. If anyone should be cut, the two in these positions should be highest on the list!

For the most part, the Columbus symphony has been under poor stewardship for many years through management and the Board. There has been only one board member who has really put money ahead of mouth to keep the orchestra going. Perhaps it’s time for a new board that definitely has a mission to see to it that the CSO survives. There is a song from a Walt Disney movie of long ago… a lesson taught by the wise old owl. The song is called Stick To It-ivity, and it begins with the words “Where there is a will, there is a way to do it, but you’ll never get there if you don’t stick to it. These might be good words for a symphony board to remember as they go about their mission.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Impassioned letter to Symphony Board.

From CSO violinist, David Edge:
Dear Mr. Trafford, and other Board Members of the Columbus Symphony,

I am the tall bearded musician who sat across the table from you making fundraising calls for the CSO during one of our phone-athons a year ago.

I am writing to you to express my dismay over the ongoing negotiation process between the Musicians of the Columbus Symphony and the Board of Directors, and specifically the information we found out in today's ratification meeting where the Board's final offer was explained and discussed.

Although I entered the meeting in a positive frame of mind, thinking that the mediation process had at least brought some degree of movement towards an appropriate compromise (after all, compromise is what negotiations are about), my mind set was quickly changed to anger and disbelief when it was explained that the somewhat higher salary that was being offered came with the condition that the Musician's Union, hence the musicians themselves, cooperate and support the termination of Junichi Hirokami's current contract. This is a most outrageous and unreasonable request, tantamount to saying to a group of prisoners, "We'll let you all go if you let us kill your leader."

Music is the outpouring of human and divine emotions and values through ensemble, harmony, and a sense of unity of expression. The idea that musicians would sanction offering up their Music Director as a sacrifice so they can make more money is as insulting to them as it is a commentary to your own stature as a moral, ethical human being. It is scary indeed to realize that the Columbus Symphony Orchestra has fallen into the hands of people who demonstrate such primitive understanding of right and wrong, let alone what it means to lead an organization whose mission is the uplifting of the community through the performance of great music.

Based on the actions of the Board over the past months, it is hard for me to believe that the Board wants anything less than the full destruction of the orchestra as we and the Symphony lovers of Columbus know it. At every step of the way, when compromise and reason could be exercised, a kink has been thrown in the works that makes it impossible to proceed.

Any informed and intelligent board member must know that the musicians would not accept the firing of close to half of their colleagues, take a 40% cut in pay, or betray their music director. I can only conclude that the Board does not really want a settlement, but instead wants to use the musicians as scapegoats as the Symphony sinks into oblivion.

There are compromises out there and reasonable ways to work towards agreement on those compromises. Scare tactics and demands of betrayal are not the way. I only hope that people with the insight, power, and positive intent to find those compromises decide to exercise that insight and power before it is too late.

Sincerely, David Edge CSO Violinist

Friday, July 18, 2008

Two Poweful Commentaries

Letters to the Editor From "The Other Paper"

COLUMBUS SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED

It is with much regret (and more than a small amount of embarrassment) that I have watched from afar the continued problems, and potential demise, of the Columbus Symphony Orchestra (*CSO sides are talking, musicians are playing" July 10).
More troubling, however, than the mere problems faced by the symphony is the mentality apparently held by certain citizens of the city as to the importance - and necessity - of maintaining and properly funding such a talented artistic organization.

As a 26-year resident of Columbus who has spent the past four ;years living in Washington, D.C., I can attest firsthand to the benefits of living in a city that values both philosophically and financially, the cultural and artistic institutions that help weave the fabric that constitutes a healthy, vibrant, livable community.

As much as well-kept parklands and green space contribute to the general welfare of a community's citizens by offering opportunities for recreation and relaxation among aesthetically pleasing environments, so too do a community's cultural institutions offer opportunities for education, enrichment and enjoyment in ways not available through other means. It is the reason why cities across the U.S., from our nation's largest metropolises to smaller burgs such as Springfield, Mo., or Pocatello, Idaho, have consistently sought to preserve and enhance such institutions for the general betterment of their citizens. To not do so would be to strip away an exceptional cultural and educational experience for both today's generations and those yet to come.

Now Columbus stands poised to become one of those few American cities to stand forth and soundly reject such a notion.

It is true that institutions such as the CSO have an implicit duty to reach out to the community in order to garner the widest possible audience for their offerings. It is also true that in this age of fewer financial resources and tightened budgets, those funds designated for artistic and cultural entities are typically among the first to be trimmed. But the city of Columbus would be ill-advised to allow an institution such as the CSO to fail by the wayside simply because the city did not see fit to preserve it.

It is beyond the limits of my imagination to conceive of a Washington, D.C. that did noot include the gorgeous sounds of the National Symphony Orchestra rising through the symphonic hall at the Kennedy Center. It would be a tremendous shame if the citizens of Columbus did not feel the same way about their own.
Benjamin Harris
Washington, D.C.


Letter to the Editor From "The Other Paper"

GIVE THE CHAIRS AND SHEET MUSIC BACK

Most Central Ohio residents are aware of the Columbus Symphony board's scandalous mismanagement that resulted in a "suspension" of CSO performances. They have illegally broken the musician's contract and have ceased operations as of June 1, 2008.

Our brilliantly talented symphony musicians have been left high and dry without income or benefits.

Those of us who attended the extremely enjoyable concert July 12 at Vet's Memorial of the Columbus Symphony musicians also learned that the board is holding stage equipment (chairs, music stands, etc.) hostage; worse, the board is doing the same with the CSO music library. Are board honchos Robert "Buzz" Trafford and Eric Sutphin planning to to on tour, performing all of those orchestral scores?

It's one thing that these "charming gentlemen" may want to keep the stage equipment to auction off to the highest bidder but what are they doing with all those scores in the music library? The musicians had to borrow stage equipment and scores from a number of Ohio orchestras and colleges in order to perform this past week-end. This just adds to the embarrassment and absurdity that the board has heaped on these musicians as well as on every resident of Central Ohio.

Give those scores to the musicians boys! You probably can't even read music.

Martin Buck

Wading through misinformation

It appears there is plenty of discussion of the subject of "resident conductors" and "resident executive directors". Notable in the discussion were the quotes by CSO Executive Director Tony Beadle which were published in the Columbus Dispatch article Musicians Reject offer, dismissal of Hirokami.

Tony opened his mouth and didn't disappoint Columbus:

Hirokami should have remained neutral, said Tony Beadle, executive director of the symphony -- adding that Hirokami has also failed to perform key duties of a music director for a major orchestra, partly because he hasn't put down roots in central Ohio.

"A good deal of the work is not done on the podium," Beadle said. "A music director is the face of the orchestra and ambassador of good will to the community and potential donors."


(For those of you who don't know, Tony Beadle and Susan Rosenstock, General Manager, were caught illegally video taping parts of a recent performance during a concert produced by the Musicians to counter management's lockout of work and benefits.)

Several blog posts have appeared in response. Drew McMannus of Adaptistration posted Beadle, Pot, Kettle?, and Bill Eddins of Sticks and Drones, a blog written by two conductors, posted Pull up the roots.... Both are worth reading.

I also posted a response from Korine Fujiwara, a violinist from the CSO, on my blog, Buzzing Reed. One commenter needs to be quoted here, to highlight the range of attitudes concerning how orchestras function and how to "solve" the problem of supporting the arts in general. Unfortunately, the following myopic and presumptuous suggestions are not an uncommon viewpoint for many Americans who are eager to climb the ladder to success and "too bad for anyone in the way". Here is the comment posted by (the otherwise anonymous) Steve S:

I appreciate you pointing out that Mr. Beadle is probably not the best person to have stated what he stated about Mr. Hirokami. That being said, I think there is a lot of truth to his statements. The music director does need to be a face, and does need to understand the way an American symphony orchestra works. Hirokami’s incredibly negative comments about his employer showed that lack of understanding. In the end, there is no way to know who’s really not doing their “job,” but what Hirokami did was just plain stupid. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t work in American for a very long time because of this.

You imply in your last sentence that the board is dysfunctional. I would like to hear an explanation of that allegation other than you not getting the paycheck amount you desire. I’m sure we would also love to hear how you would react if the tables were turned, if a board member told an orchestra musician that they were incompetent. You’re an expert fundraiser? Who is exactly? You get paid because some people out there think what you do is important. No one is taking advantage of you, no one is earning a profit. A board is all-volunteer, and your salaries are paid because they beg people to give you their money with absolutely no return on their investment.

All this finger-pointing is what is running your orchestra to the ground, not any one person or group of people. Orchestral musicians are LUCKY to have the jobs they have, and sometimes that luck just runs out. When you place your livelihood in the hands of the good-will of people, then shame on you for placing expectations on anyone to provide anything for you. Playing an instrument entitles you to nothing, no matter how good at it you might be.

To counter these ideas, I quote from a letter by David Lundberg, which is also posted in full on my blog.
In Dallas, as a singer in the Dallas Symphony (DSO) Chorus for 25 years and as a member of the DSO Board for several terms, I saw...the DSO emerge from bankruptcy in 1974, at full strength, thanks to some farsighted people including Stanley Marcus (Neiman Marcus). During the 70’ s, the DSO had a series of short-term and guest conductors, who allowed the Orchestra to become uninspired and sloppy. Enter Maestro Eduardo Mata, a masterful technician..., who awakened the musicians’ desire to perform at a higher level. [What followed was] a European tour, great reviews, and wonderful community response. The whole situation in Dallas remains positive to this day – pride in and of the musicians, fiscal stability, great arts community, good endowment, a great new $130 Million venue and no debt.

In the ensuing years, many Fortune 500 companies relocated their headquarters to the Dallas area. Ones that quickly come to mind are American Airlines, JC Penney, Exxon Mobil, Kimberly Clark, Co—America Bank, Fluor, and Ericsson Telecommunications (North America). Is there a connection here? You bet there is. When major companies decide to relocate, they establish a profile of the qualities that they are seeking at the new location. Common to these profiles is the absolute requirement of a superb, vigorous cultural community (led most naturally by the symphony and opera). While this is not the only criterion, the importance of a vital classical art landscape is undeniable.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Welcome Columbus, to Your Orchestra

This is a place for conversations between you and the musicians you have come to know and love.

Here it is. And it's all yours. We are at your service.

What do want to ask? What do you want us to know? Do you have ideas for how we can be better?

Should I wash my white tie more often? Or do you mind if I throw it away and wear something more comfortable when I play music for you?

One of Your Orchestra Musicians,
David Thomas